My life has been busy and tumultuous lately in some really wonderful and amazing ways. But, as I've mentioned before, even good things can be terrifying!
What I really find is that the more that I step into new territory in my life, and as a teacher, the more wondrous everything becomes. Of course, with the wonder comes growth, and fear.
It's easy to talk about being brave or about being excited for new things that you know will challenge you. But as those things draw nearer, the instinct is still to pull back, to withdraw, to hide, to avoid, to procrastinate, and to do whatever it takes to get back in the comfort zone where you know exactly what will happen next. At least, that's the case for me. And I know that when I find myself in that situation, those are the precise moments when it is most critical for me to hold my ground, to step forward instead of retreat.
I read somewhere that courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the actions one takes even though one is afraid. This is where the magic happens, if you ask me. I know I say that a lot - about the magic happening where things get tough, but it's so true!
So while I've been talking about the steps I'm taking to pursue my dream, my passion for Yoga - and while I've had lots of honest things to say about how excited I am for this new future I am crafting, I am also shaking in my boots.
It's been one thing to plan, to talk, to dream, to take action. Yet another as deadlines and new beginnings loom nearer and nearer. I said to my wife, recently, that it feels as though I've been talking and planning this big leap and so I've gotten used to that part. But now that I'm getting closer to it, I feel like the parachute is strapped on and I'm in the plane as we are gaining altitude and, well, there's a big difference between planning and being THIS close to jumping.
I've made a decision to move away from the familiar and toward the unfamiliar. The groundwork has been laid. Now, all that's left is to reach altitude, and jump.
Before I get there, I know that I will have made peace with my fear. No one is going to have to push me out. I'll be stepping into the unknown of my own will - and the second I do, I know that my Self will be forever changed.
At 10,000 and climbing...